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  • Writer's pictureevaallengrace

Thriving in single parenthood: Top 3 tips!

I did the math the other day on how many hours a week I am spending with my daughter. It came out to 77 hours.


Thats 77 hours of wake time. Not including the time she is sleeping or her one hour-ish nap per day.


77 hours.


I have help on average about 10 hours a week with her. That is still a tremendous amount of time that I am spending with my child. Next I asked myself: "Out of those hours, how many times am I losing it? How many times am I having a meltdown? Or reacting in ways I don't want to?"


It's important to get real with ourselves if we want to make a change. Get real with what you are doing now in order to do it better. For me, reacting once in a negative way to my 14 month old daughter is too much. I don't want to be doing it at all. Zero. This is the time to lay the seeds. To be mindful of the foundation we are laying for our children for the years to come. We can always be better.


So how am I thriving as a single mom in all our time together?


  1. I have a physical action that brings me back into my body when I first begin to feel frustrated. I like to tug on my earlobes, or snap my fingers. Maybe you unconsciously rub your temples! Try to instead pick a conscious action. When you do this it builds an association in your brain. In time, it will instantly remind you to take a step back. To take a breath. Take a moment before you go over the edge. It helps to bring your focus back onto the present moment.

  2. Narrate! Narrate how you are feeling inside. Narrate what you see and hear. Narrate how you perceive your child is acting. Speak your feelings aloud! We must teach our children how to do this. I understand it may feel odd at first to narrate the anxious or frustrated feelings you may be having, but it is essential. The more we do this for our children, the more they learn that they are safe and welcome to describe how they are feeling with us too. This is how we teach emotional intelligence, control, containment and stability from a young age.

  3. Put your child in their safe play space, and walk away. From when they begin to crawl children need a safe place to play. Likely this safe play space will be their crib, or maybe a section of a room where they are contained. A place where they cannot get hurt by themselves. Take a deep breath, tell them what is going on and where you are going and why, and walk away.

I repeat these steps over and over and over again, all day long. It's how I stay calm when I begin to feel like it is all too much. These are practical tips that help me! What would you add to this list?

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