Some simple and complex tips for how to own at being a parent:
Be present with your kid. Take interest. Ask them what they're playing, and if you can play too. Allow yourself to get wrapped up in their world! Your child will reveal so much about who they are as a person through their play - you just have to be there to see it.
If your child is older, allow them to teach you something. What level are you on in your game? Can you teach me? How did you get this to work? Can you show me?
Use praise and lots of positive reinforcement. Want your child to use their words? Use yours! I also like to flip those words around, and say reinforce positivity. Someone in a bad mood? Teach your child that they don't have to stay there. Play music, have a shake it off dance party. Let them play DJ.
BE THE ROLE MODEL Get off your phone. Seriously, plug it in another room and walk away. Keep it in your purse instead of taking it out. Encourage screen free zones and times.
Maybe you're saying well hey, I do all that. What to go deeper? Ask your child, frequently, how they are feeling inside. Ask them to describe the feeling of gratitude. How does love feel, inside your bones? What does being grateful really feel like? We know what worry and fear feel like in our bodies. Lets teach our children to also be able to readily identify what joy feels like. When you are so happy your skin feels like it is jumping! Like there are a hundred million tiny soldiers, dancing on each and every hair of my arm. Use your imagination! Get the ball rolling with your words; this gives the freedom for your child to follow suit. Encourage story telling about internal feelings.
It's great to mix things up, but young children truly do thrive on routine and rules. The world is so big! There is so much to learn and discover. Allow them to see that the rules in place are there to help them. Talk to your child! Explain it to them. Hesitant because you feel like you don't know how to break it down for a child? You don't have to. Think you don't know how to talk to your kid? You do. Just start talking. They'll take the lead, and ask you questions. You lead initially then follow, and repeat!
If you mess up, say so. Explain what happens to you when you feel mad, and what you did about it, and how you will do differently next time. Model forgiveness - and this is big - in yourself. You messed up, and you'll mess up again. I forgive you, I forgive me. We forgive in this home.
Encourage failure. Show your child how failing is positive. You learned! You stretched your limits, The most successful people are also those who have failed the most. Explain why.
Allow big feelings to be big! Sometimes screams need to be screamed. Sadness cried. Happiness into huge, rolling on the floor, please-stop-my-stomach-hurts fits of laughter.
Always leave room for the unexpected, and time to smell the flowers.
S l o w d o w n.
What do you like to do to connect with your kids?