Parenthood is one of the toughest jobs, Ever. Women (and men too!) often make it harder on themselves than it needs to be when it comes to bringing a new baby into the world. It was hard to narrow this list of the things I wish I had known before I gave birth! I am going to try to keep it at five but may have to add in a few extras...
Going into labour isn't ALWAYS doom and gloom and the most painful experience of your life. Think back to the last movie or show you where you saw a woman in labour. It probably looked a little something like her laying on her back, screaming bloody murder with veins about to pop out of her forehead, am I right? Before I brought my daughter into the world I heard phrases like "third degree tearing," and "the most incredible pain imaginable." It wasn't until I took a child-birthing class at six months pregnant when I was schooled in the truth. Your body knows what to do. Pain or no pain, that baby is coming out. Some women only report the sensation of deep pressure, or their worst period cramp. My daughter came via emergency cesarian- any fears I held about vaginal birth did not even apply!
And on the flip side, you may have the idea that breastfeeding is something that comes naturally and is simple. When the reality is that many women struggle with latching, their baby having a lip tie, milk not coming in as planned, the PAIN and ache your breasts give. I wasn't told ANY of this. I was not prepared for the immense struggle that I had breastfeeding.
I knew that my hormones were surging upon giving birth, but did not know that night sweats are a common experience when your milk begins to arrive about 3-4 days after. It's NORMAL!!
Plan on NOT doing any housework. NO cooking. NO cleaning. If you have a vaginal birth your recovery may be a lot longer than the 2-3 weeks of a cesarian. All women are different, but many take months before beginning to feel better or comfortable again. This isn't easy if you have other children to take care of in the home, which is why I say again: PLAN IN ADVANCE! Hire a nanny, commission the mother in law to come and stay for a few months, have the meals planned out and easily prepared BY SOMEONE ELSE. You will need this time for you!
You don't need as much stuff as you think. Giving birth as a single mum, I thought I needed it all. Changing table and all that goes with it, newborn toys, swaddles, a bedside sleeper, linens, you name it. Newborn babies truly don't need that much. They grow quickly out of the size 0 or 1 diapers, and just as quickly out of newborn size clothing- you won't need much of this. Toys? nah. Those cute hooded towels? not necessary. Get yourself a quality carseat, crib, some burp cloths for the spit up, diapers, wipes, small stash of clothing and a swaddle, and you'll be good. I would also recommend a sound machine as well. New babies are used to loud sounds in the womb, and coming into the world sleeping into a silent room is not easy.
What would you add to this list? Some women added about mom-guilt and sleeplessness being normal. What do you think? Help a momma out!